Penname: 108 [Contact] Real name: Theresa Rogers
Member Since: 07/26/2007
Membership status: Member
Bio:
I stumbled across this site and had never heard of "fan fiction" before. I am a writer who is currently working on honing my craft. I am very interested in things like "show don't tell" and syntax and sentence structure as ways of creating mood and pacing. I'm curious about these technical areas of writing because my background is in non-fiction writing (I was a Philosophy major). I have always written, but am now at a point in the revision process of my own work where I want (need) to ask, on a deeper level, "How do you show, not tell, a story?" This website has some amazing writing and an opportunity to interact with other writers and editors with a subject matter (Harry Potter) that I have loved for years now. I am amazed at the quality and complexity of a lot of the work on this site.
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Reviews by 108
Umbra Nihili by Cluegirl Rated: MT - Mature Themes starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Sirius finds himself trapped in a world of smoke and mirrors, to which Harry seems to have the only key.
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > War and Peace
Characters: None
Genres: Drama
Time Period: None
Warnings: Graphic Violence, Strong Sexual Content, Strong Language
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 39771 Read Count: 2597
[Report This] Published: 10/09/2005 Updated: 10/09/2005
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/16/2007 Title: Chapter 4: Ch 4

This is incredible writing - the kind of writing that makes me want to give up writing as a bad job. Your word choices are awesome, and I mean that in the original sense of the word, where I am sitting here reading and rereading and feeling them arch in my brain, filling in the spaces between the words with images, completing the dialogue between you (author) and me (reader, author, appreciator). The story, the exploration of such an idea, the roots of magic and instinct and raw animal despair - I can't get this story out of my head (a good thing, I think) and I want to devour it, let its juices run down my chin, try to catch it and figure out how this extraordinary fruit gives such juice. Can you possibly tell me how you learned to write this way?

A Lost Generation by Fionnabhair Rated: FG - Family Guidance starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 5]
Summary: From the very beginning of their school days, Lily and James' lives were entangled in the Wizarding World. Yet, in the midst of war, the most important thing is life, not death - Lily, James, Sirius and all those of their generation struggle to protect the love and laughter that is the essence of life, as a brutal war is fought around them.
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > School Days
Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Narcissa Malfoy, Lily Evans Potter, James Potter
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Romance
Time Period: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 75614 Read Count: 9041
[Report This] Published: 10/22/2005 Updated: 08/20/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/20/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: Wills and Fates Do So Contrary Run

Oh, for . . . I can't figure out how to respond to your response, so I'm just posting another review.

First of all, thanks for responding. Second, what you said about the ambiguity being intentional - I totally get that. I do the same thing in my own writing. Glad to have picked up on it - I am certainly thinking about it! So in that case, good job. It worked. :)

I also agree with you about fanfic being a great training ground - I am using it for the same reason. I just found out about it about a month ago and wrote my first piece, which is currently in the hands of a beta. (I'm not entirely sure what that means; I'm pretty sure it doesn't have anything to do with Blade Runner, but I suppose I could be wrong.)

It is strange working with someone else's characters, but it's also somewhat of a relief, as I can assume a certain amount of "reader knowledge" and I don't have to craft everything from scratch. I notice, however, that you do have to add something of your own - the ones I've read that don't add some new dimension to the characters aren't as interesting.

And yes, telling my reader "Lily didn't like the little apartment they were forced to stay in" pretty much kills any reader dead. What else do you write that you're using this as a training ground?

Now I'm going to devour the new chapters. Crunch, snap, munch.

Cheers!

Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 13: This Too Shall Pass

This is fantastic. I can't believe how many ties you have with the Rowling universe. I loved tying your story together with the information we get from her books. My only criticism is that there are several times when you are too criptic, when I was not quite able to draw a conclusion I am sure I was supposed to draw (for instance, is Remus supposed to be in love with Lily, and that's why everyone reacted the way they did when she asked him to give her away? Or is that a reaction to the fact that he is a werewolf and Lily is not aware of how werewolves are perceived in the wizarding world? Or what?). There were also a few times when you referred back to something characters had done previously but didn't remind the reader enough for me to remember what had occurred. Overall, though, this is an impressive piece of writing. I want more, more, more! What happens next!!??!!?!

Author's Response: Well, you'll be happy to know I've just posted the next three chapters - and I fully intend to bring this fic right to the very close.  As for Remus, well...you're quite right, I didn't give you enough information there to really explain peoples' reactions.  It's probably not very helpful of me to say this, but...that was on purpose.  I raised that issue precisely because I wanted the reader to stop and think about Remus and what he is doing at this point in time.  I know it must be maddening to hear 'it's unclear because I want it to be unclear.'  I want the reader to be looking at Remus and trying to figure him out throughout the story - which is why I send up those red flags.  It's my way of saying 'pay attention.'  I'm not sure what the other 'cryptic' things are Im afraid (it's so long since I worked on those chapters), but I suspect part of it is because the story is entirely filtered through Lily's consciousness (something I struggled with at times).  Usually I prefer to shift between two or three different perspectives - useful in case such as this, where ever so often there was information, or interactions between characters, that I really wanted to convey to the reader, but which Lily simply couldn't know.  In the end I decided to stick to Lily's narrative voice, which...has its benefits, as well as its drawbacks, I hope.

A Terrible Fate by Fionnabhair Rated: GP - General Public starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Once upon a time, a dark-haired boy saved a little girl from a terrible fate. And then he did it again ... and again.
Categories: Hallowed Halls > From Diagon Alley to Hogwarts
Characters: Ginny Weasley
Genres: General
Time Period: None
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2893 Read Count: 729
[Report This] Published: 10/26/2005 Updated: 10/26/2005
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

Your writing style is very good. You let me, the reader, work my mind while reading it - there is lots of room for me to think about what is going on and draw my own conclusions. I reviewed your story The Lost Generation and mentioned a bit of a problem with not giving the reader quite enough information to draw the conclusions you clearly want drawn (in this one, for instance, there is not a clear enough path to determine Cedric's motives - brotherly? romantically interested?). You are particularly good at the whole "show don't tell" thing, which can be challenging for writers. Have you been trained to be a writer or are you one of those people who seem to come by it naturally? I'd be interested in hearing about how you learned to write the way you do.

Author's Response:

This is going to be very annoying, but yet again I have to say that the lack of clarity about Cedric's motives is entirely intentional.  In the main I wanted him to seem simply friendly and decent, but I did also want to leave the possibility of romance (in five, or ten years time, say) just...out of reach, sort of floating there in the narrative.  Not that Cedric is actually thinking of it, or behaving the way he does for that reason, but I did want the reader to think, 'when Ginny's a little older, maybe...'  It gives (hopefully) the story a sort of extra dash of poignance, if you see it in that light - but it isn't essential.

 

As for my 'training' as a writer, I don't really know what to tell you.  I don't tend to believe in the sort of natural talent that flowers forth fully bloomed - I had to learn how to work out a story.  The single biggest lesson I've learned from fanfic (and I do look on fanfic as 'training' of a kind) is not to get in my own way.  I hate having to come out and say things like 'Ginny doesn't like Dementors because of her traumatic experiences with a sociopath, etc,' because ideally the writing should get you there anyway - you shouldn't have to tell (of course, there'll always be times when you will, just for the sake of brevity).  The moment you tell the reader the Very Important Fact (whatever it may be) you shut off all other interpretations, and...well, it's really rather boring.  

PS... by Thistlerose Rated: GP - General Public starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 5]
Summary: The summer after Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin finds a letter that Sirius wrote for his godson - but never sent - two months before his birth. Without reading it first, Remus sends the letter to Harry
Categories: Hallowed Halls > From Diagon Alley to Hogwarts
Characters: Remus Lupin, Harry Potter
Genres: None
Time Period: None
Warnings: Angst
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3887 Read Count: 1226
[Report This] Published: 01/01/2006 Updated: 01/01/2006
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/08/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Beautiful piece. Beautiful writing. I loved reading it. That last PPPPS - absolutely devastating.

She Will Have Music by Thistlerose Rated: FG13 - Family Guidance13 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Past Featured StoryTo say that fourteen-year-old Sirius Black has issues is to put things very mildly. Remus tries to help. Then he tries to resist. Then he comes to his senses. Or loses them. Whichever.
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > School Days
Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin
Genres: None
Time Period: None
Warnings: Slash
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4957 Read Count: 1520
[Report This] Published: 08/15/2006 Updated: 08/15/2006
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 1: She Will Have Music

This is absolutely fantastic writing. Your evocation of the characters, of the confusion of a budding sexual preference, of the quiet inner dialogue surrounding said preference, of the exploration of the vast chasm between what young men say and who they are, of the desperate pain of revelation and the quiet holding of the reception of such . . . you are truly an amazing writer. Are you trained somehow or do you just know how to do this? How much revision? Do you struggle (as I do) with a piece, changing one word over and over until it weaves itself in correctly, or do you flash through it and move on? This story is an eggshell held delicately in the fingertips of an excellent writer, one who knows how best to hold it to the light and reveal its translucence, how to turn it just so so we see its cracks and lumps and call them art.

Couldn't Keep Him There by Mad Maudlin Rated: FG - Family Guidance starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 2]
Summary: "I need more time."

"I don't have any more to give you."
Categories: Remains of the Day > Leaving Feast
Characters: Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley
Genres: None
Time Period: None
Warnings: Angst, Het
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2257 Read Count: 681
[Report This] Published: 09/05/2006 Updated: 09/05/2006
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Couldn't Keep Him There

Oh my god. This is heartbreaking. All the pieces that could lead to this scenario are there, this is definitely a path that could be followed after DH. This is incredible. And beautiful. And so, so honest. I love the interplay of dialogue between the revelation of Ron and Hermione's baby and the situation in New Orleans. The city, its crumbling infrastructure, the parallel to Harry's own psyche, his own choices in life, the pain of watching him rootless and drifting . . . wonderful. How do you do this?

Non Sequitur by Mad Maudlin Rated: FG13 - Family Guidance13 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 2]
Summary: Latin. "It does not follow." James invites Lily over to his new flat for a suprise and gets a surprise of his own.
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > School Days
Characters: Lily Evans Potter, James Potter
Genres: Comedy, Fluff
Time Period: None
Warnings: Het, Major Fluff
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1889 Read Count: 578
[Report This] Published: 09/11/2006 Updated: 09/11/2006
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Non Sequitur

I love this story. You are a very good writer. Your sense of comic timing is impeccable - the sequence after James says, "For what?" is just perfect. Also - "He got up and left." Funny and "oh no, you idiot," at the same time. An honest and totally boneheaded reaction and it rings absolutely true. How long have you been writing, and have you had any training, or do you just know what you're doing? Did you edit and reedit this piece a million times or is this pretty much how it came out the first time?

The Sharing of Breath by kjcp Rated: MT - Mature Themes starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 4]
Summary: When Sirius’ miserable moods suggest that everything is going wrong, something starts to go right. A “how they got together” story.
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > School Days
Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin
Genres: Romance
Time Period: None
Warnings: Slash
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 24743 Read Count: 1249
[Report This] Published: 11/02/2006 Updated: 11/11/2006
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 12/21/2007 Title: Chapter 4: Part IV

I really, really liked this story. It rings true. I love how slowly they come together, how each tiny touch is a world unto itself. You are a very good writer. Please keep writing.

I love your use of ". . . What?" - the ellipses before a word. It gives the perfect pause before something is said. I believe I'll incorporate that little technique in my own writing. :)

The only thing I would say is to watch your grammar a bit. Sounds rediculous, no? But you're such a good writer that when the grammar is off (like a plural subject and singular verb), it really jolts. Also, make sure all the right words are in a sentence in the right order (for the same reason). Such strange things to mention, I'm sure, but really, when I'm reading something this good, I hate stopping and trying to figure out a sentence that doesn't work.

And you can tell me I can't spell, and you would be completely, totally right. :) :) I'm always getting those squiggly red lines.

 

Learning Curves by midnitemarauder Rated: RT - Restricted Themes starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 2]
Summary: During their fifth year at Hogwarts, Neville embarks on a rather personal journey while Ron struggles to overcome his Quidditch demons. [Ron/Neville]
Categories: The Broomshed > The Changing Room
Characters: Neville Longbottom, Ron Weasley
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Time Period: Voldemort's Second War
Warnings: Frottage, Masturbation, Slash, Strong Language, Strong Sexual Content, Underage, Voyeurism
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 11337 Read Count: 602
[Report This] Published: 07/03/2007 Updated: 07/03/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/09/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I just read (and reviewed) your other two stories. You are a really good writer. I am sure of it now because even though this is not a pairing I really wanted to think about, I still loved the writing and the emotional unfurling of the characters. Neville is so sweetly innocent and Ron is perfectly gruff and funny at the same time. Well done.

Author's Response: And you read this one too, despite it not being a pairing you really like. *is very flattered*  I wrote this story for a rare pair fic exchange, and to be honest, it wasn't a pairing I ever really considered before either, but sitting down and thinking about how to make it plausible (for my own purposes as well as for my recipient) - now that was the challenge!  And I really had so much fun with it, too.  Part of the reason I enjoy fic exchanges is because they've forced me to look beyond my own preferences, and to try things I wouldn't have considered otherwise.  I wrote this one for hp_springsmut, and for merry_smutmas I've written Stan/Lucius (yes, Stan Shunpike! :-P) and one that was Sirius/Regulus, Sirius/James and Sirius/Remus.  (Sirius/Remus is my favourite pairing.) But even when I'm writing to someone else's preferences, I never lose sight of the fact that *I* have to believe the story myself.  I really ended up loving this story, and I'm particularly pleased that you enjoyed it, too.  Thank you, yet again!  :)

If They Were Me and I Was You by midnitemarauder Rated: MT - Mature Themes starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 2]
Summary: Remus is not very happy about his seventeenth birthday [Remus/Sirius]
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > School Days
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Genres: Romance
Time Period: Voldemort's First War
Warnings: Frottage, Slash
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2796 Read Count: 565
[Report This] Published: 07/05/2007 Updated: 07/05/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/09/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I just reviewed Games People Play, and I can say the same things about this one - you are just an incredibly talented writer. That last line made me laugh out loud. I'm reading your third (or is it your first) one next -



Author's Response: Thank you! (again!)  I just left you a novel in reponse to your review of GPP, so I'll just say thanks, and I'm very glad you enjoyed my story! :)

Holiday Magic by Mad Maudlin Rated: FG - Family Guidance starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 5]
Summary: Ron's got a few questions about what Muggles do for Christmas.
Categories: Remains of the Day > Three of Hearts
Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley
Genres: Comedy, Ficlet, Fluff, Trio
Time Period: Post-War
Warnings: Major Fluff
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1293 Read Count: 1126
[Report This] Published: 08/11/2007 Updated: 08/11/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is absolutely hilarious. The way you've written Ron's wizard reactions to Muggle Santa - it's perfect. One of the things I've always loved in Rowling's books is how she writes Arthur's reactions to Muggle inventions and you have captured that perfectly. It's exactly what Ron would say about Santa. And I love that he thinks it's creepy - a drunken stranger in the Floo network! I laughed out loud.

Choices by madam_minnie Rated: GP - General Public starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 3]
Summary: Had Remus known that Severus had lost as much as he the night of Sirius' betrayal?
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > Drabbles
Characters: Remus Lupin, Severus Snape
Genres: Drabble
Time Period: Voldemort Vanishes
Warnings: Angst
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 237 Read Count: 476
[Report This] Published: 08/12/2007 Updated: 08/12/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/12/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Choices

This is a powerful piece of writing. Your word choices (ex: amber eyes fixed on obsidian) are fantastic. You have done a masterful job of conveying the tension between the two men without telling me about it - you are very good at "show." Great dialogue, too.  My only lament - that this is so short. I would like to read more! I'm on the lookout for more of your writing.

Author's Response: Okay, you are terribly wonderful for my ego! I love you and shall frame this review and hang it over my laptop when I'm feeeling like I can't write anything.

Tell Me You Love Me (The Orbital Capture Mix) by Mad Maudlin Rated: FG13 - Family Guidance13 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Sirius and Remus are locked in orbit.
Categories: Bad Moon Rising > War and Peace
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Genres: Angst, Drama
Time Period: Voldemort's First War
Warnings: Angst, Drug Usage
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1675 Read Count: 363
[Report This] Published: 08/12/2007 Updated: 08/12/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/17/2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I like this very, very much. I like the unspoken words, the way they crowd Sirius's mind but can't quite make it out his mouth. Good writing.

Other Waters by Mad Maudlin Rated: FG13 - Family Guidance13 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 2]
Summary: Three years after the war, Harry's life isn't quite like he expected. A surprise face from the past changes everything, but can they help each other heal?
Categories: Remains of the Day > Eternity
Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley
Genres: Angst, Romance
Time Period: Post-War
Warnings: Angst, Graphic Violence, Minor Fluff, Strong Language
Series: Other Waters
Chapters: 11 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 48838 Read Count: 5194
[Report This] Published: 08/13/2007 Updated: 08/13/2007
Reviewer: 108 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/14/2007 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Holy. Fucking. Shit. I nearly bit through my own lip reading this. My eyes dried out over and over again. I couldn't close my computer and I wanted very, very desperately to do so, only to keep this story from searing itself behind my eyes into my brain. I don't know what kind of life you've had, but being able to describe the aftermath of such horrific events so accurately can't be an accident. I can only hope you are just extraordinarily gifted at "show don't tell." This review is supposed to be a testament to the power of your writing, a good thing, and I hope it's coming across like that, but it's 1:30 in the morning and I can't get back to my own writing (for which I am a bit miffed) because I am being haunted by your words, in my head, in my gut. I won't sleep well tonight but believe me, just about every fucking thing in my life seems a little bit less important right now than it did before I read this. That, dear author, is high praise, indeed. Holy. Fucking. Shit.