Categories: Remains of the Day > Eternity
Characters: Arthur Weasley, Charlie Weasley, George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Molly Weasley, OFC, Ron Weasley
Genres: Angst, Drama
Time Period: Post-War
Warnings: Graphic Violence, Rape
Chapters: 11 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 35072 Read Count: 17360
Date: 03/22/2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I just finished reading this story, I must confess I didn't fully read it but skipped some parts here and there.
I really like the way you use your vocabulary, finding just the right words for the right expression. I also have some things I think could improve in your writing:
In my opinion you write a little too direct: There's little thought of the characters and it's hard to get -inside- their head because of this. I think especially in a story with this subject it would be a lot more gripping when you could ampathize with the charactere a bit more.
Again this is something that coincides with my first remark, there isn't enough description of detail. I know this is a relatively short story (and we all know who Ron and Hermoine are), but a bit more description of their clothing, their reactions and the surroundings couldn't harm.
I think you are really going the right way as a writer, but there's still some things you could improve on.
All in all great job!
Hello Dear Anonymous!
This is just a hobby of mine, I'm really not aiming for the Pulitzer Prize or anything. *snorts* Nor do I get paid for this and do this on my very limited free time. In short-it's supposed to be for fun. Having been around A LONG time in fandom, I have to say that being critical of somebody's work is not very nice, no matter how nicely you try to word it.
Have a fabulous week!