Date: 07/04/2009 12:47 AM Title: A Place Like Tomorrow
An intriguing premise, and your writing is eloquent, as always. I did find Hashmal's attempts at persuasion a bit limited, and Ron's handling of the matter... rather cowardly. His lack of honesty, repeatedly turning to drink, and utter unwillingness to even engage the thought of having worth (even in a situation where such a discussion would cost nothing and where the potential consequences of not considering it could be dire) strikes me as the very utmost of self-indulgent self-pity. The fact that it could, indeed, be someone's sincere reaction to receiving that sort of warning makes for a plausible tale, though in this case the hero seems a bit... lacking. As Ron points out to himself (though never to Hasmal, I noticed), why not Harry??
Still, it was vivid and gripping, and your characters come to life. Cheers, and happy writing!