Reviews For Unspoken
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Reviewer: risiepookie Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 03/18/2007 06:54 PM Title: Hermione's Secret

Arg, it ate my review! 

I believe the gist of it was that I see you've given us some plot and I'm intrigued to see where you're taking it.  I'm wondering what they are keeping from Ron, what the letter's significance is, as well as what the seemingly random memory (though it's probably important) has to do with everything.

My only complaint about the chapter is the formatting, because the HTML tags are being displayed on the page.

However, other than that, this was more of the hesitance that I am really enjoying, as well as a continuing look at Ron's thoughts. 

Nicely done!



Author's Response: Thank you for telling me about the formatting! I must have missed double-checking that one. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story.

Reviewer: risiepookie Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 03/18/2007 06:43 PM Title:

Pomarius Marmoreus

This is such a great trip into a slightly angsty, slighty fluffy, definitely in-character storyline. 

I really do love the hesitance that you are showing, which is exactly how they would be, if canon/JKR had decided to take this route in book 6. 

*****"You are so much more to me than that," he told her.***** 

My heart was pounding wildly when I read that line! 

Beautiful- just really lovely!

Reviewer: risiepookie Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 03/18/2007 06:30 PM Title: Even Prefects Break the Rules

How can there not be more reviews for this?!  Amanda, this is a great initial chapter!  I love the hesitance, how you showed the progression of his thoughts, the reader also being uncertain about how she feels about him.

I love this:  *****Not that Ron cared. He liked the opportunity to whisper nonsense to her and then watch her try to hide her smile, or just steal looks at her as she peered down corridors or behind suits of armor.***** 

Honestly, I have imagined before that he must have tried to check her out and secretly loved getting her alone (that is, away from Harry) for some time with himself.  What better time than while on rounds? 

Also, this line was fantastic!:*****"Hermione," he began, stalling and looking for an excuse other than, I didn't read the chapter because I spent the night thinking about you, and all you did was hold my hand, after all. You're right. I'm a complete prat. I'm hopeless without you to help me, but I probably won't be able to concentrate for being near you this afternoon in the library. And what were we talking about again?*****

I love how you showed how badly he wants to connect as her friend, and wants to be more, but fights it, and is afraid to try for anything else. 

Great opening chapter!  Well done! 



Author's Response: Oh, thank you. I'm really glad you enjoyed that. I hope the rest of the chapters work out as well for you. :)

Reviewer: TaMara Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 03/07/2007 09:34 AM Title: Hermione's Practice

Great chapter, please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope to have the whole thing up very soon.

Reviewer: Seakays Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/26/2007 09:45 PM Title: Even Prefects Break the Rules

This was a wonderful and intriguing start to your story.  I am looking forward to reading what happens.  I thought you did an awesome job getting in the head of Ron.  This was just fabuous.  Cannot wait to read the next chapter.



Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. I'm hope you like the rest of it once it's uploaded. :)

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