Date: 12/10/2007 05:59 AM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
“Nah, 's what you call artistic license.”
Hehe! Trust Ron to add his own parts to the story!
Very nice, tied in canon nicely without giving Dumbledore his weekness. Yay for the Grangers' return! Woot! *applauds*
Yeah, Ron the smart-aleck, having a bit of fun with the stories of his childhood! I had so much fun with that.
Likewise, the return of the Grangers was a great pleasure, and I hope it will give me -- and you -- more.
Thanks so much for the lovely review!
Date: 12/09/2007 10:06 PM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
Good chapter. Interesting way to see the Hallows incorporated--I haven't seen many good stories include them yet.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Author's Response: As I told tdybear48642, I couldn't possibly leave out the Hallows, as important as they've been to Dumbledore and his reasons for doing things. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. As long as readers are willing to do that, it's more than a pleasure to post the chapters!
Date: 12/09/2007 03:35 PM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
I'm so glad to see you're writing on this again! Very nice installment, but I miss your naughty bits. I like the idea of Muggles teaching Muggle Studies ... in fact, I think it SHOULD be that way if our young witches and wizards want a true education on the topic. I missed the Smut, too, but it's hard to go from Dumbledore's last line here to happy pr0n. We'll be having more fun in the bedroom next chapter. I have really been missing the Grangers, so it's great to have them back, and I hope to have some fun with them teaching Muggle Studies.
I missed the Smut, too, but it's hard to go from Dumbledore's last line here to happy pr0n. We'll be having more fun in the bedroom next chapter.
I have really been missing the Grangers, so it's great to have them back, and I hope to have some fun with them teaching Muggle Studies.
Date: 12/09/2007 05:08 AM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
I love the way you were able to work in the Deathly Hallows. I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! Since my goal is to be what I call "Butterfly Compliant" -- meaning that I want all the changes wrought on the Potter-verse by this story to have their origins in that Butterfly flapping his wings in China -- I couldn't possibly leave out the Hallows, which loomed so large in Dumbledore's motivations. I'm very fortunately that JKR's additions to the canon didn't blow me right out of the water!
Date: 12/08/2007 06:27 PM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
I liked this chapter a lot, but Ron's manner of speaking bothered me a bit, with the frequent truncations of "and" and interjections every few sentences. It seemed a bit off-character. Other than that, good chapter!
There was something about the fact that Ron was not just speaking his friends, but telling a story, and in front of Dumbledore and Sirius especially, that informed the way he speaks here. I'm not sure exactly what it is. I'm experimenting a bit with cleaning it up somewhat.
Thanks for the review!
Date: 12/08/2007 03:16 PM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
Wonderful chapter! "Ludicrous Speed!" that was great. I also loved Ron's rendition of The Three Brothers, absolutely brill!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the kind review!
Date: 12/08/2007 01:04 PM Title: Chapter Twenty-One: "Teachers' Dirty Looks"
Wonderful prechristmas present!!!!!! Almost cried when I saw you updated.(yes just pitiful aren't I?) The Grangers are back. Kick ass Harry!! Love how you incorperated DH. Good job all the way around. Shall I start begging for the next chapter? No I will just re-read the whole thing and be patient for awhile. Thank you!!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'd kind of rather have you cry at Dumbledore's last line than just seeing I've updated, but I'll take what I can get! :^)
Date: 12/06/2007 01:44 AM Title: Prologue: A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In China
*sigh* This came recommended to me and looked so promising. I really quite liked the initial section, but then I got to the very second scene with Hermione reading about "Peloponnesian monarchs." And while this may sound like the most petty critique ever, it's important because this is how you throw readers out of your story. I almost never leave negative reviews, and I'm tempted to apologize for doing so, but I stand behind the rebuke I'm giving (which is why I'm using my name, not anonymous).
Do you know where the Peloponnese is -- more importantly WHAT it is? I suspect not. The Peloponnese is the very large almost-island off the SW of the Greek peninsula and has historically belonged to Greece. It hasn't had "monarchs" since the Mycenaean Bronze Age unless you count the Spartan kings (in which case I assume you'd have said "Spartan kings" as Sparta had a unique, peculiar mixed constitution). Ancient Greece had independent city-states ... among the more famous in the Peloponnese were Sparta, Corinth, Argos, Tiryns and Ellis near ancient Olympia (site of the Greek Olympics). These city-states were largely oligarchies, with later a few democracies. No "monarchies." It all eventually fell to Rome, then was bequeathed to Byzantium -- who had emperors, not kings -- then to the Ottoman Empire, who had sultans over the area. And if Greece had a king for a while directly after Greek Independence in the mid 1800s, it was just one at a time, and he was king of Greece, not the Peloponnese.
We won't even go into the fact the Greeks had contractual marriages, not marriage "vows" until Greek Orthodoxy. Nor the fact that any spells they cast would surely have been in GREEK, not Latin.
What's the point of all this? It looks like you blindly pointed your finger at a map and used whatever landmass it landed on without looking it up. And given the ease of narrative style in the writing up to that point, I don't think you're an inexperienced writer. But such an easily avoidable mistake suggests you didn't care enough to check your facts, which in turn means I don't care enough to finish your story, however highly recommended.
And I'm frustrated because after the first scene, I was prepared to like it. I thought it a very clever opening. Then I hit that huge historical blunder, which told me this is "just fanfic" to you, not worth your time to double-check. I prefer to read fiction, not "just fanfic."
And that's how you throw a reader out of your story -- fail to check your facts when it would be really easy to do so.
Author's Response: In fact I did research Peloponnese before writing that scene. While my research was not as complete as yours, you're clearly overlooking two crucial points.
The first is the word "ancient." When I used that word, I meant it. Not merely historical but ancient, dating back to the days of legend, of giants and gods. While I don't have a calender of dates, I can tell you that the Regimagi, though not directly related in any way, were approximate contemporaries, give or take a few centuries, of the Roman Empire.
The second is in the seperation Wizarding and Muggle cultures. The Muggle histories you have read will tell you nothing of the Regimagi of ancient Peloponnese, because those histories don't include anything of the Wizarding world. The last Regimagus of that vast island could have been deposed last Tuesday, and we'd never know of it.
So rest assured, in the days before Caesar ruled the Roman Empire, the magical population of Peloponnese were ruled by Wizard-Kings, whose extraordinarily powerful magic has mostly been lost to modern wizard-kind.
In short, you did not encounter a historical blunder, huge or otherwise. You assumed that Muggle history applied to wizards, which is a mystifying mistake.
Date: 12/01/2007 09:13 PM Title: Chapter Two: Mrs. Weasley Goes Spare; Miss Granger Comes Clean
Wow, this is really excellent. Very hot, but then there's the very real awkwardness of being stuck together. And Sirius! You un-killed Sirius. You're my hero.
Author's Response: Thanks so very much for the kind words. Sirius is a huge source of fun for me as I write this, and I'm so very glad he came back through the veil. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story.
Date: 11/30/2007 12:11 PM Title: Chapter Twenty: "The Breathing Rose"
I really love that story. You give me a hard time waiting for the next chapter. I check the pitch every day. I'm sure, there are many more waiting desperatly.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and grateful that you eagerly await the new chapters. My output has clearly slowed down quite a bit, but I am continuing to write, and continuing to post. I promise not to abandon this fic.
Date: 10/25/2007 08:27 AM Title: Prologue: A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In China
I don't read trio fics. Yours is the one exception. Here's why - the characterizations are great, the plot is intriguing, the adventure is fun. But the best part, for me at least, is how you're handling the sex; with frankness, responsibility, sweetness and humor. Oh, and it's hott.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind words! I have to encourage you, though, to look at some other Trio-Fics, as many others are beautifully written, and easily as respectful of the sex, including the works of Argyle_S and Quizzical, found on this site.
Date: 10/07/2007 02:56 PM Title: Chapter Twenty: "The Breathing Rose"
Wow....Wow.. It is all I can say. Hope mores to come
Author's Response: Yes, there will be more to come. I've started work on the next chapter, and hope to do more on it tonight and/or tomorrow. I'm very, very glad you're enjoying this. Thank you so very much for your kind and caring words. It's really appreciated.
Date: 09/30/2007 05:38 PM Title: Prologue: A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In China
I stumbled over this story recently. I couldn't stop reading until I had to (chapter 20)... Tantalizing. I was laughing, crying, thinking, was thrilled, aroused. I LOVE it. Can't wait for more. More, more, more, ...Pleeease!!
In all my eagerness I didn't remember, that I can review each chapter separately.
I'll do that on my second pass, promise (almost).
Author's Response: I'm so totally thrilled to have readers discoveringand enjoying this story! I'm working on the next chapter, which will finally, finally get us back to school, where some surprises and conflicts await. Thanks so much for reading, and I'm so thrilled that you're enjoying it!
Date: 09/27/2007 09:21 AM Title: Chapter Twenty: "The Breathing Rose"
nice! I can't wait for the three of them to go back to school, and see how they deal with classes and everything. I can't wait for the next instalment!!!!!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this! In another window, I have the Trio, Lupin and Tonks making their way through King's Cross station, so soon, soon.