Date: 10/21/2006 09:15 AM Title: Prologue
*is upset at self being surprised at how good it is*
You are SO a writer motek!
Harry's guilty feelings and need to run away seemed spot on to me, and I adore the precocious character of Charlotte (Charles *snerk* so cute!). The characterization is really well done, your Hermione is utterly believable (loved her *seeing* Harry, and him being surprised about it. Silly boys) and I like the no nonsense way you have them deal with all the niggling details that will surely come up. You can't really expect the whole world to readily accept such an unconventional family with open arms, and it makes sense that they'd think of that.
I also liked how you fastforwarded them in time straight to parenthood - it works well.
thanks so much, yaara.
i'm so relieved you thought it was ok! you may recognise elements of little charlie....
Date: 10/20/2006 12:16 AM Title: Chapter Two: The Chosen Ones
"Harry could tell that Hermione's fingers were just itching for a quill and some parchment to start a list."
I adore this line!
And every change you've made has been for the better. You have no idea how beautifully it flows!
The cliffhanger is wonderful, the sentence "Ron's lips were at his ear, but Harry couldn't make out the words at all. The rushing noise enveloped him and he was swept away, pulled under the swell." beautifully written; rushing, enveloped, swept away, pulled under, swell" as well as the punctuation of this little bit are mesmerising, tehy pull me in with them.
Oh, and this and the last one were me, Sarah. *headdesk*
thanks so much, sarah.
it's a real honour to have this stuff *seen* as you see it.
Date: 10/19/2006 05:58 PM Title: Chapter Two: The Chosen Ones
I really liked this chapter...its nice to see them work out the complexities of a threesome, instead of having everything work out perfectly from the beginning like most stories. I also, oddly enough, really liked how you handled Harry's panic attack at the end. Very interesting
i'm glad you like that. the working out is what it's all about for me....
Date: 10/19/2006 04:03 PM Title: Chapter Two: The Chosen Ones
That was simply lovely.
So soppy, and so in character, and so right.
You get the middle-aged scruffy hippy mum seal of approval from me.
well, from one middle-aged scruffy hippy mum to the other....
Date: 10/19/2006 02:45 PM Title: Chapter Two: The Chosen Ones
He had been picked out and marked as ‘the Chosen One' when he was just a baby. But being the one to make the choice?
oooh - excellent point - poor baby!
"You chose us?"
"I chose you...both... Ron... I... I choose you."
"I'm not taking your bloody money, Potter. You know that!"
Oh, Ron, it's only money - it's not important. Not when you love each other - all you need is love, love is like oxygen, love lifts you up where you belong!
"I've wanted to do this since second year, Ron. The number of times I wanted to just say to you, and to your Mum and Dad, ‘Here, take it. It's yours.'
This is canon.
oh! shocfix is waxing lyrical at me!
thanks for reading, shoc.
Date: 10/19/2006 11:22 AM Title: Chapter Two: The Chosen Ones
Oh, what a great chapter!
How much do I love this? How much do I love the wordplay of naming this chapter "The Chosen Ones"?
How much do I love Harry, choosing Ron and Hermione?
How much do I love little Charlie? Oh, let me count the ways! I love her relationship with Harry. I love her intelligence, so like her mother's and her sweetness.
How much do I love the romance of "All my worldly goods I thee endow"? And Slytherin!Harry backing Ron into the corner in which he must, as he should, accept Harry's wealth as well as his love!
Oh, I could go on all day -- "You mean you haven't?" -- but I guess I've said all I need to. I love this chapter to pieces.
you're a great cheerleader, bud.
Date: 10/15/2006 08:04 AM Title: Chapter One: Get Over It
“The one where you panic and come to the conclusion this has all been a horrid mistake, then you try and leave ‘for our own good’ and then we convince you that actually we’re quite fond of you and would rather you stay, and then you pout for a while before deciding we’re right. Let’s just skip to the end, all right?”
“Does that mean we skip the bit where you freak out about if your brothers find out? Or moan about the papers coming after me when we set foot outside the door?” Harry countered harshly.
I think you would be breaking his heart the most and I’m telling you now, that would just NOT be fair!”
You made me cry!
And have you used my one yet, Hermione? About how you’re the Chaser - always after the truth, I’m the Beater - because…. well I am, and Harry’s the Keeper always guarding his fucking heart in case anyone actually gets in?” Ron’s raised an eyebrow, casting a smug look at Harry. “That was pretty good, don’t you think?”
And giggle - he is adorable!
Date: 10/14/2006 02:29 PM Title: Chapter One: Get Over It
The fic is coming along well... am really liking the interaction among the 3 of them. You have captured Harry's feeling of being the odd man out really well.
I think it wud probably be eaiser for him to accept the scenario if he didnt feel like he was taking what was rightfully Rons. Aw well thats Harry :)
Am looking forward to the update!
thanks so much for reading. i'm glad you enjoyed it.
Date: 10/14/2006 02:16 PM Title: Chapter One: Get Over It
Applause! Applause! I am SO happy you posted this! It is really quite wonderful. You have a great plot going here and you really have captured a fine perspective on their relationship. Harry feeling like the "odd-man-out" works brilliantly.
Date: 10/14/2006 01:48 PM Title: Chapter One: Get Over It
I'm speechless...where do I start.
I love how you are moving the story along.
They are each predicting each others thoughts here. It really shows how well they know eachother. They know eachother insecurities.
"Hermione wriggled a little. Her hair was caught slightly on her neck, pulling against her scalp. She lifted her head and Harry reached over to release the long strands, before she lowered it back down near his shoulder." This is so real! Things are never ackward in fanfics, but real life is, and I am so happy to see this little touch.
I really get all fluttery at their reactions to eachother. They know eachother so well, they are almmost predicting Harry's mmoves. They know he doesn't really want to leave them, but he tries to do what he thinks is best and can not imagine them loving him so much.
*applause* Great job Q! I can't wait for the next chapter!
i'm so glad you like that bit. it's one of my favourites too.
Date: 10/14/2006 10:16 AM Title: Chapter One: Get Over It
The old witch in the painting seemed to be taking quite an interest in the conversation, but looked away when she noticed Hermione's gaze.
Great use of everyday magic!
“We’re going now. Hermione needs a rest. I’m making supper tonight at eight. Be there if you want to be, but if you don’t come, we’ll know you‘ve made your choice." Ron stood looming over them, glaring down at Harry.
"You'd better bloody make it the right one, because I’m not going to do this again. Right?”
That is so amazingly powerful! That's a Ron, that's a wrinkle, that I have never seen in Trio fics, and it's just magnificent.
Oh, Q, I love, love love this story!
wouldn't be the same without all your help.
Date: 10/13/2006 01:48 PM Title: Prologue
That was really lovely! Very touching. :)
Author's Response: thank you so much!